If someone gets defensive, even from a seemingly innocuous question, it's because they perceive a threat that's usually rooted in their personality type and perspectives, writes Ryan Trimble of Crucial Learning. For example, people who prize process may bristle at being asked if they've finished a project because they hear it as asking if they rushed through it, and those who are people-oriented may be triggered if you don't add a "please" to your request, Trimble writes.